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BEREAVEMENT

06 November 2017

What happens when you go through bereavement?

It is devastating when you lose someone close to you. Everyone’s experience of grief is unique, but there are some common things that lots of us will feel. You might feel numb, angry, exhausted or guilty for something you did or didn’t do or say. Your mind will be distracted so you may also find it hard to concentrate as well as you would do normally. These feelings are normal and will pass, but it can take time.

Speaking to someone can help, and you may get all the support you need from family and friends. If you don’t feel able to open up to people that you know, or you feel you are struggling, then there are organisations and sources of support that can help. These include:

  • Cruse Bereavement Care - Offers face-to- face, telephone (0808 808 1677) and email (helpline@cruse.org.uk) support.
  • Help is at Hand – A booklet specifically written for those bereaved by suicide by those who have also been affected by suicide. The booklet gives practical information as well as details of further support.
  • Samaritans – Provide a safe place for you to talk. They will listen and try to understand what you’re going through and help you make your own decisions that are right for you. You can get in contact with them via telephone (116 123 [free 24 hour helpline]), email, letter or face-to- face.

Sometimes it isn’t just your own grief that you have to deal with, but that of your children. Children need time to grieve too, and it’s important to try and talk to them about their feelings as well as your own. Try to encourage them not to hide their feelings, but instead talk about them. As much as possible try to keep to the routine that your family had before the death to give a bit more stability, as hard as this may be.

These services provide specific support for young people and their families who are bereaved

  • Hope Again - Provides advice for young people after the death of someone close to them including personal stories of other young people who have been bereaved.
  •  Child Bereavement UK – supports families and educates professionals when a child or baby of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement.
  • Cruse Bereavement Care - Offers face-to- face, telephone (0808 808 1677) and email (helpline@cruse.org.uk) support.
  • Stars Children's Bereavement Support Service - Stars provides specialist bereavement support and counselling for any child or young person, aged 0-25 years who has experiences the death of someone close to them. We also provide support for young people when someone close to them is dying. Email: info@talktostars.org.uk, Telephone - 01223 863511.
  • Grief Encounter - A national service providing support to bereaved children and teenagers including e-counselling and materials to help to support bereaved children. Email: contact@griefencounter.org.uk, Telephone: 02083 718455.
  • Centre 33 - Provides free counselling to young people aged 13-25 years. Email: help@centre33.org.uk, Telephone: 01223 316488.
  • Compassionate Friends A charitable organisation of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of other similarly bereaved family members who have suffered the death of a child or children of any age and from any cause. Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk, Telephone: 034512 32304.
  • YMCA Cambridgeshire and Peterborough - Provides free counselling to young people ages 13-25years. Email: counselling@theymca.org.uk, Telephone: 01733 373170.
  • Keep Your Head - Provides details of more services and information on children's mental health.
  • Kooth - Kooth is a free, confidential counselling service, provides mental health self-help information and support online for people aged between 11 and 19 years.

Other local healthcare services:

  • Sue Ryder Thorpe Hall Hospice - The hospice’s family support team offers individual and group support pre and post bereavement. Trained staff and volunteers also facilitate the monthly walking group Wayfinders. Support for bereaved children aged six to 11 is available through the Charlie Chimp Club.
  • Arthur Rank House Hospice, Cambridge - Offers bereavement support to the families of patients who have received care from one of their services. Keith Morrison (Chaplain), Email: keith.morrison@arhc.org.uk, Tel: 01223 675777
  • Sue Ryder St John's Hospice - Offers bereavement support to families and friends of patients cared for at the hospice. Jane Maxfield, Family Support & Bereavement Co-ordinator.
  • The Alan Hudson Day Treatment Centre - The Alan Hudson Day Treatment Centre based at North Cambs Hospital in Wisbech, is a day centre supporting people who are living with a life-limiting illness. They also run a support day three times a year for bereaved relatives.
  • Cambridge University Counselling Service - This free service is for enrolled students and staff of the University of Cambridge.
  • Anglia Ruskin University Counselling and Wellbeing Service- The Counselling and Wellbeing Service is available to all students at Anglia Ruskin University and offers a free and confidential service to promote mental health and wellbeing.

Voluntary organisations

  • Age UK - Provides advice and information for older people through an advice line‚ publications and website.
  • The Samaritans - Provide confidential emotional support at all times of day and night.
  • Cambridgeshire Consultancy in Counselling - Provides an individual counselling service with a range of fees according to ability to pay.
  • Cogwheel Trust for Counselling - The Cogwheel Trust is a charity, motivated by its Christian ethos, working throughout Cambridgeshire to improve the emotional and psychological well-being of local people. 

For more information on bereavement and dealing with grief please visit the NHS Choices bereavement webpage. Click here for a printable bereavement leaflet full of services for the Cambridgeshire and Peterborough area.

Mental health challenges are common but help is available and with the right support many people recover completely. Check out our Who Can Help Page for lots of services who are local and national!

SUICIDE

06 November 2017

Not everyone who thinks about suicide will tell someone and there are some people who give no indication at all of their intention. However, there are warning signs that we can all look out for. These include if a person is:

·         Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide.

·         Actively looking for ways to kill themselves.

·         Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.

·         Talking about being a burden to others.

·         Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.

·         Increasing their use of alcohol or drugs.

·         Suddenly very much ‘recovered’ after a period of depression.

·         Visiting or calling people unexpectedly to say goodbye either directly or indirectly.

·         Making arrangements; setting their affairs in order.

·         Giving things away, such as prized possessions.

The STOP Suicide website has lots of information on what to do if you are worried about someone or you need help yourself.

There is also lots of support for people who are struggling with bereavement through suicide. Below are lots of services, helplines, groups and books that offer lots of help and advice:

HELPLINES

ORGANIZATION

SERVICE

 

TIME

TELEPHONE

CPFT

1st Response

Supports people experiencing a mental health crisis. Mental health care, advice, support and treatment.

24-hour access,

7 days a week

365 days a year

Call 111

Select:Option 2

Lifeline

Free, confidential and anonymous telephone; provides listening support and information to someone experiencing mental distress or for people who are supporting someone in distress.

7.00pm – 11.00pm

365 days of the year

FREEPHONE

0808 808 2121

Samaritans

Offer a safe place for you to talk any time you like, in your own way – about whatever’s getting to you. You don’t have to be suicidal.

10:30am - 10:00pm

 

FREEPHONE

116 123

 

Winston’s Wish

For children. Giving hope to grieving children. With the right support at the right time, a child can face the future with confidence and hope.

Mon – Fri 9am -5pm

Except bank holidays

FREEPHONE

08088 020 021

Childline

Helpline

For children and young people in the UK.

You can talk to us about anything. No problem is too big or too small.  However you choose to contact us, you're in control. It’s confidential and you don’t have to give your name if you don’t want to. The number won't show up on your phone bill.

24 hours per day

everyday

FREEPHONE

0800 1111

Papyrus

HOPE Line UK

For children, teenagers and young people up to 35. National Confidential Helpline.  If you are a young person at risk of suicide or are worried about a young person at risk of suicide

 

Mon-Fri 10 – 10

W/E 2:pm - 10pm

Bank Holidays

2pm - 5pm

FREEPHONE

0800 068 41 41

 

 

CALM

For men. The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is dedicated to preventing male suicide, the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK.

5pm – Midnight

365 Days per year

FREEPHONE

Nationwide

0800 58 58 58

London

0808 802 5858

Support Line

For everyone. Provides emotional support and details of support groups, helplines, agencies and counsellors throughout the UK

 

Helpline:

01708 765200

Cruse

National Helpline

Staffed by trained bereavement volunteers, who offer emotional support to anyone affected by bereavement.  To help you talk things through, or signpost you to your local Cruse service and other sources of information.

Monday-Friday   9.30-5pm (excluding bank holidays) Tues, Wed &Thursday 9.30am  – 8pm

FREEPHONE

0808 808 1677‚Äč

Maytree

A sanctuary, supporting people in suicidal crisis in a non-medical setting. Free 4-night/5-day stay, and the opportunity to be befriended and heard in complete confidence, without judgement and with compassion.

24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

020 7263 7070

LOCAL GROUPS

 

ORGANIZATION

 

SERVICE

TIME

TELEPHONE

Lifecraft

Suicide Bereavement Support Service. Contact point for family and friends for support and information on bereavement by suicide.

Email: Fiona@lifecraft.org.uk

10 – 5pm

Monday to Friday

01223 566957

Mind Cambridgeshire & Peterborough

A range of services to support those recovering from mental health challenges.

Email:

enquiries@cpslmind.org.uk

Cambridge

Peterborough

St, Neots

01223 311320

01733 362990

01480 470480

Cruse

Bereavement care with a helpline to talk to someone about bereavement.

Email: cambridge@cruse.org.uk

9.30am - 1.30pm

Monday to Friday

01223 633536

NHS Cambridge & Peterborough

Foundation Trust

Suicide bereavement support group. Warm welcome assured, contact Jane Pope (07973 8835110 or Mary Hanna (07887 655713).

Email: chaplaincyteam@cpft.hns.uk

6pm – 7.30

Monday monthly

Peterborough

01733 776080

 

Compassionate Friends

Support group for parents bereaved through suicide.

Email: p.wilson34@ntlworld.com

7.30 – 9.30 Cambridge 1st Tues of each month

Rosemary Wilson

 

WEB SITES

 

ORGANIZATION

SERVICE

 

 

Hub of Hope

A place to go to for those who are struggling, to locate the nearest service available to you, as well as national organisations. A web based app makes it as easy as possible for people to find help and support around them.  Simply enter the post code and search.

Support After Suicide

For everyone. We are a network of organisations who support people who are affected by suicide.

 

If U Care Share

IUCSF offers the opportunity to speak to other people who have life experience around suicide. We offer 1 to 1 practical and emotional support. We are also available to offer practical advice on the procedures that take place when there is a death by suicide. Helpline: 0191 387 5661

 

Bereavement UK

We aim to provide you with bereavement support and information when you need it the site is available at your fingertips.

 

Students Against Depression

Students Against Depression provides you with the resources you need to find a way forward from stress, low mood, depression or suicidal thinking.

 

The Way Foundation

For men and women aged 50 or under when their partner died. It’s a peer-to-peer support group run by a network of volunteers who have been bereaved at a young age themselves

 

NHS Choices

For everyone.  It may be difficult at this time, but it's important to know you're not beyond help and you're not alone.  Many people who've had suicidal thoughts have found with support and treatment they have been able to allow the negative feelings to pass.

 

CHUMS

 

CHUMS Mental Health & Emotional Wellbeing Service for Children and Young People provides therapeutic support in a variety of ways.

 

Alliance of Hope

For Suicide Loss Survivors provides healing support for people coping with the shock, excruciating grief and complex emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one to suicide.

 

Keep Your Head

Keep Your Head brings together reliable information on mental health and wellbeing for children, young people and adults across Cambridgeshire & Peterborough.

BOOKS AND LITERATURE

AUTHOR & PUBLISHER

 

TITLE

Adele Ryan McDowell, Whiteflower Press

Making Peace with Suicide: A Book of Hope, Understanding, and Comfort 

Ann Smolin, Simon & Schuster

Healing After the Suicide of a Love One

Ann Smolin, Simon & Schuster

Healing After the Suicide of a Relative

Alison Wertheimer, Taylor & Francis Ltd

A Special Scar: The Experiences Of People Bereaved By Suicide

Carla Fine, Bantam Doubleday Dell 

No Time to Say Goodbye

Cobain & Larch, Simon & Schuster

Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide 

Edwin S Shneidman, Oxford University Press

Making Peace with Suicide: A Book of Hope, Understanding, and Comfort

Lukas & Seidon, Jessica Kingsley

Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide 

Myers & Fine, Jessica Kingsley

Touched by Suicide: Hope and Healing After Loss

General Grief

 

 

Boydell,K (2005), London Vermilion

Death and how to survive it.                                                                                  A practical and uplifting guide to coming to terms with the loss of your partner.

Ginsburg, GD (1997), Tuscon AZ: Fisher Books

Widow to Widow. Thoughtful, Practical ideas for Rebuilding Your life.

Munday J S (2005), Skokie IL : ACTA Publications

Overcoming Grief: Joining and Participating in a Bereavement Support Group.

Noel &Blair PA (2008), Naperville IL Sourcebooks

I  Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye.

Hartley Jill (2008), Morleys Print and Publishing

My True Son An anthology.

Hartley Gill. ( 2011), Morleys Print and Publishing

Aspects of Loss. A companion for Bereaved Parents and their families.