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SUPPORT WITH LOSING A LOVED ONE ~ BEREAVEMENT
The death of a loved one can be devastating and bereavement affects people in different ways. There's no right or wrong way to feel, and it is very natural to feel sad when someone has died; however, you don't need to keep all your feelings to yourself; talking to others can help.
Check out what STARS has learnt about the feelings that you may be experiencing here.
Stages of bereavement or grief:
It is generally accepted that there are four stages of bereavement:
- accepting that your loss is real
- experiencing the pain of grief
- adjusting to life without the person who has died
- putting less emotional energy into grieving and putting it into something new – in other words, moving on
You'll probably go through all these stages, but you won't necessarily move smoothly from one to the next. Your grief might feel chaotic and out of control, but these feelings will eventually become less intense and you will feel less sad and overwhelmed.
Feelings of grief:
Give yourself time – these feelings will pass. You might feel:
- shock and numbness – this is usually the first reaction to the death, and people often speak of being in a daze
- overwhelming sadness, with lots of crying
- tiredness or exhaustion
- anger – for example, towards the person who died, their illness, or God
- guilt – for example, guilt about feeling angry, about something you said or didn't say, or about not being able to stop your loved one dying
Coping with grief:
Talking and sharing your feelings with someone can help. Don't go through this alone. For some people, relying on family and friends is the best way to cope.
If you don't feel you can talk to them much – perhaps you aren't close, or they're grieving, too – you can contact local bereavement services:
Supporting Young People Facing Grief. Everyone will experience, bereavement during their life, but for young people, the death of a parent or another important person in their lives can be terrible to deal with.
Young people need time to be listened to and to speak about their fears and hopes for the future, but sometimes that’s difficult when others in the family are coping with their own grief. It can be helpful for young people to have support from someone outside of the family, to enable them to share their thoughts and emotions, which if left unexpressed, can lead to anger, disruptive behaviour and concentration issues at school.
Our counsellors, in Cambridgeshire, can help by listening and encouraging young people to express their painful emotions through creative play and work please get in touch here.
Hope Again is a website provides advice for young people after the death of someone close to them. The site has lots of information on how to cope when someone you care about dies, including how to talk about it, remembering, and moving on. The site also has personal stories from others who have experienced grief.
It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust if things are getting overwhelming. This might be a parent, carer or teacher. Some people find it easier to talk to someone they don’t know like someone at Cruse. To reach the Cruse Bereavement Care Youth Helpline between 9:30am and 5:00pm, call 0808 808 1677.
Cruse Bereavement offer advice, support ( including counselling) and information for those whose loved one has died.
The Sue Ryder Charity charity offers emotional support going through grief or for those that have a relative with a terminal illness. http://www.sueryder.org/advice-support/grief-publication
Child Bereavement UK is a national charity which offers support to children facing bereavement or to families having experienced the loss of a child.
Winstons Wish is a charity specialising in helping young people and children cope with the bereavement of a parent or sibling.
SOBS offer support for those that are survivors of bereavement through suicide.
Dying matters offers support around the death of a loved one or for those pre-bereavement